LEX

it's not about the numbers

for some reason, i've lately been feeling the need to slow down. for those who know me well, you know that, though i don't like to be busy, i usually am. i feel the need to be productive, so i fill my schedule so that it's packed so tightly i have very little wiggle room.

since returning from the DR, this hasn't been quite the case. i have a new job which, while it keeps me busy, has not made me a workaholic. i have my church, which takes up a few days of my week - but not even a full 24 hours, really. i have my thesis which, when i'm being diligent, takes up one (maybe two) evening(s) a week. and i have my friends, who i hope know i'd drop almost anything to spend time with and serve them.

beyond that, i don't really have any commitments that fill my schedule. i came back from the DR with the realization that relationships are more important than productivity. and so i've done a pretty good job lately of thinking that i need to spend more time with more people. i've tried to work out different ways to do that and it just hasn't worked. and it's left me feeling guilty that i don't have time, or emotional energy, for these other people.

and then i read exodus 18. and i took a huge sigh of relief. in this chapter, moses has just been reunited with his wife, sons and father-in-law after the exodus. they spend some time rejoicing together about all of the great things the Lord has done. and then jethro, moses' father-in-law says, "hey moses, why are you trying to run this whole nation of people all by yourself? get some people to help you!" and instead of moses saying, "hey man, i've got it under control," he humbly listens to the wisdom of his father-in-law, delegates responsibility, and gives himself a break.

it's not about the numbers. it's not about how many people i can meet for coffee. it's not about how many numbers i have saved in my cell phone. but it IS about the quality of those relationships. it's about HOW i invest in these people.

so this is what i've decided to do. i am giving up personal responsibility for every person that comes into my life and allowing others to do the investing that i cannot. this is not to say i will begin ignoring people. people are still very important. but i know that i cannot fully invest well in a large number of people. i hope that those who are in my life will understand my not reaching out to additional people. and i hope that those who have room for more relationships will take the opportunity to reach out to those who are in need.

posted by Alexia & Jeffrey @ 1:09 PM