LEX

pensamientos

so i've been thinking about a lot of things lately. that happens sometimes when you have no TV to watch. and i'm quite a thinker anyway, so now i'm just in overdrive. it seems like everyday i have a thought that begins with, "if only..." there are so many phrases that could end that sentence, but if i think about them too long, i get really overwhelmed. yes, it would be great if we could give each kid a real, dominican school uniform (so they could go to the public school in addition to our programs). it would be great if we had more classroom space so we could have more classes. it would be great if we had more teachers so we could go to each bateye EVERYDAY rather than just twice a week.

but i must remember that all things must start somewhere. and so i began to wonder how sharla felt as she was starting Makarios just over 2 years ago. there is so much that i want for the people of this country, and i feel so inadequate to fill those needs. it can be quite a scary thought to consider what it would take to actually do something about all these "if only..." thoughts. but then i started reading the makarios blog entries from the very beginning, and i found the following which answers both my thoughts and wonders. i hope sharla doesn't mind me reposting her thoughts on my own blog about 2 years later.

the following was posted by sharla on the makarios blog in january of 2005.

On a different note, I'm reading a book called Messy Spirituality, by Michael Yaconelli. In it he quotes Nelson Mandela, and I want to share that quote with you:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

God has not called us to live a life of fear. Fear prevents us from living the abundant life God offers. Since the founding of Makarios, people have have asked if I'm ever overwhelmed with my responsibilities, with the weight of what we do, with financial concerns, etc. The answer is yes! Most of the time I am completely confident that we are doing what God has called us to do. But I don't want to put out some facade that says, "everything is under control." We do not have anything under control, but we trust what we do to God's control and our confidence, my confidence, is in Him. While I struggle at times with fear of man, fear of circumstances, fear of failure, when I place my confidence in Him, there is nothing to fear. And you know what? God shows up in big ways when we rest in Him and let Him take control.

posted by Alexia & Jeffrey @ 8:23 PM